My FMS GD/PI Experience

Now this one is not like those funny or intresting things that happen with people when they go for their gd/pi. My gd/pi was pretty simple without any hoopla or laughters caused while interacting with panelists. Still i wud like to write about it. One of my friends(Jay) emphasized that i shud write my experience on the blog. BOTTOM LINE: AT LEAST SOMEONE IS READING THE BLOG. :D so for jay and all others who read the blog here it is:

Btw prior to leaving for delhi i was in borrowing mode. borrowing file frm someone, tie from someone. During one such interaction, my friend amit while seeing the dress said carelessly "YEH KYA HAIN. IT SEEMS U R GOING FOR PARTY THERE". Now the problem was that the revelation came on the day of journey. I had some 3 to 4 hours left for boarding the train. "DAMN" was the only expression coming to my mind. And the whole rush for new trouser began. Atlast i got one but thanks AMIT for making me realize why life strikes back at alredy worsening times.

GD

On the D-day, the process started smoothly. All the 11 people were called for GD and then were taken to the hall with chairs arranged in semi circular positions. We all sat on them and soon DEAN welcomed us and said some calming words. The topic was "COMPETITION IS THE BEST ANTIDOTE FOR CORRUPTION". After 1 min of thinking, GD started. It was a FISHMARKET. Nobody was listening. All were trying to make themselves heard. There was no flow, no structure. Plain BAKBAK. Some, just for showing their gyan, said corruption is caused cos of media and bad education given to our children. WHOA!!!! wat was that. I spoke for two times. But no one was willing to listen. Overall performance: Below Average :(

PI

Now this was the only chance left for me to prove myself. Now onwards i wud refer to panelists as P and myself as M. There were overall four panelists.

M(knocked the door)
P(laughing and indulged in gossiping)
M: May i come in sir?
P: haan ji aa jao.
M: Good Afternoon sir.
P: Good afternoon.
P: Baithoji baitho.(WOW. Delhi at its best :) )
P: So introduce urself.
M: All the gyan related to my studies. From where i m. Mentioned hobbies that m interested in reading political affairs and big fan of rahman's music hoping they wud ask me on that.
P: Good. So u hav an extempore topic. U can guess it.
M(feeling that topic wud be related to my hobbies and so happy)
P: Ur topic is IDIOT BOX
M:(A bit surprised but quickly got normal and started)
M: Gave all gyan about tv and its evolution. how so many channels hav erupted and still many may come. After 1 min they stopped me.

P: Why do u think it is called Idiot Box?
M: Sir perhaps it diverts us from our work and has masala programs.
P: But u never mentioned that in ur speech.
M:(udi baba big mistake) so smiled sheepishly and said yes sir.
P: So u r pursuing computers engg.
M: (ab gaya kaam se) yes sir.
P: Why these processors r called 1st generation, 2nd generation etc etc.
M: Talked about whole evolution of processors i.e from magnetic tapes to core2duo.
P: No but why r they called generation.
M: (great task made easier) Sir bcos of the time period for which they were used.
P: R u into reading.
M: Yes sir and talked about reading a book on Mumbai bomb blasts(at that cudnt remember anything else. watever came to my mind i spoke).
P: Wat abt economy, subprime crisis.
M: Yes sir, after reading on economy i feel govt is trying to do something.(lol y i said that) Gave 2 latest news related to economy and said was following subprime crisis.
P: So u follow politics.
M: yes sir.
P: So u must hav studied the CONSTITUTION.
M: (yeh kya hua bhai, completely taken aback) No sir not constitution.
P: (still going ahead) Wats the diff between rights and directives of principles.
M:(ab gaya kaam se) Sir dont hav much idea abt principles but rights such as right to elect, right of property( cursing myself for saying this as i forgot the basic rights)
P: (dissatisfied) is there anything called right to property.
M: Not sure sir. i m just assuming.
P: What r the two main parties in US.
M: (atlast something really related to politics) Democrats and Republicans
P: In UK
M: Labor party
P: Wats the other one.
M: Sir i do know bt cant recall the name.
P: Y do u want to do MBA.
M: Usual gyan.
P: thanks u can leave.
M: thanks sir.

SO overall it was not a stress interview. Panelists were friendly especially the one who wanted me to speak abt economy. Overall performance: average.

So i think my chances r slim. but still not losing the hope. Lets c.

Rahmaniac Glory and WAKE UP!!!!!

Now i have nothing more to say. The news channels must hav eaten up ur mind like anything for the whole day. So just enjoy the glory these Indians brought to us belonging to different parts of India.(Rahman and Resul from south, Gulzar from north).
Its moment of complete chaos for us fans. Visit the orkut community and one topic has fetched around 3000 posts. CANT BELIEVE THAT. We all r mad guys and we r proud of that. HA HA HA. If any of u wants to c my post on maestro copy the link given below

shaivalbhatia.blogspot.com/2009/01/arrahman-mozart-of-india.html

WAKE UP

Now there is a big festival coming up. Yeah its the biggest festival to be held in April may and u all should take part in it. The GENERAL ELECTIONS r coming and so gear up. Now do u hav voting cards. NO. seriously u dont hav that. Then pls rush up to jaagore.com and get urself registered. Rest would be taken care of by them. Now u can do atleast that. Its a wonderful initiative taken up by an NGO with a mission to see each and every person voting.

Now if u feel its a waste of time voting bcos no body does work then also i hav a reason for which u shud vote. If u loved the work of party then man its great. If not then vote for other party so that the existing DEVIL doesnt come to power again.
U know that u shud never allow same devil to torture u again. So that atleast they all r scared at the time of elections. And look at the positive side many govts r being elected. eg Gujarat,Delhi,MP etc. So PLEASE PLEASE do yourself this favour.

Funny Interview

Now this is really funny. Was goin thru an interview experience of a guy for IIT-kanpur on pagalguy.com. Given below is the whole experience of the person. Just enjoy it.:-D

read on to find out how i made a complete fool/idiot/(think up more synonyms) of myself in one the most hilarious PI's i wud ever give in my life

My profile (mere matrimonial ad ka copy paste ):

1) Acads - excellent in school (DPS Noida and DPS Mathura Road) and average in college( NSIT-IT'06 batch,DU,Delhi)
2) 18 months work ex at time of GD PI in Amdocs wid 6 months abroad in Cyprus
3) Gud Extra cir - Lots of Social work,State level swimmer(no prizes though )
4) JMET rank - a pathetic 1579 (only callls - IIT Kanpur,Roorkee)
5) CAT 07 score - 98.2 (99.3 DI, 97 VA,a measy 76 in QA)
6) Fake engineer ++ in IT (Information Tech)
7) blah blah.......yada yada.......blah blah


Some Background : IIT K had called ppl by ranks and since my rank was nothing 2 boast about (1579) ,my GD PI was on last day,last slot....
hd got some info frm ppl before me that the top rankers wr being blown apart in PI's ....being quizzed about Phy,Maths and nything under the sun from ur BE syllabus...... was seriouly pondering on cancelling a trip to IIT Kanpur.....but for the already booked ticket to Kanpur and the fact that this was my once in a life chance to visit IIT Kanpur, i wont hv been penning down this post

GD (Group Discussion): topic was on "Is growth Sustainable"....easy topic so as to say and i made decent contributions
my own GD rating - 6/10

PI (Interview): now the fun starts......believe me,everything below actually happened .....i m not bluffing nywere in this post

if u hv read the background above carefully, u can imagine my mindset while giving the PI.....hvnt been this non serious in any PI and
if i say i was just looking fwd to hving some fun, it wud a huge understatement ......read on

the plot involves involves 3 main characters :
Me, M(male teacher),F(female Teacher)

M : plz hand over ur mark sheets of all sems
Me : yup, here u go (......ab to baj gayi,semesters ke subjects tak to yaad nahi thei mujhe )

M starts to stare at my subjects in each sem and on a side parer, keeps noting down his favorite subjects in each sem
(me cursing my decision of wasting money to come to IITK)........time passes...knowing where the PI wud son go, i try to
take matters in my hand and blurt out suddenly...

Me : i went abroad for 6 months
F : So ????
(oops,my artillery had just backfired...was hoping they wud take my cue and ask me about my 6 months abroad....alas,none of that happened)


finally M is finished wid the note making.....i can see 12 subjects on d note encompassing all 8 sems of BE
(HELL !!!.....whats going 2 happen now)

M to F : madam,u can ask him about n of these 12 subjects i hv noted down
Me : (M is thinking that i know all 12 subjects in and out.,lets break his bubble now)

F : so u read sorting algorithms
Me: ya ,they were in d syllabi so hd to read (what kind of an answer is that...nyways i hd made up my find to hv fun as i knew the path this PI wud take knowing i didnt even remember the name of books of 8 of the 12 subjects M has joted down,leave alone the course contents)

F :so tel me the best sorting algo and its complexity
Me :(took a wild guess and said..) Quick sort,complexity is ....err....donno

F: name few other sorting algos
Me : named 3-4,bubble,merge,heap,radix

F : what is a heap
Me :(torture starts........) Heap is a ....err.....err
F : ok,leave heap, what is Radix sort
Me : i just remember d name ..our DS teacher was behind schedule so she didn't teach Radix sort(was i frank in PI or what ???)
F : so u did n coding
Me : nothing substantial i can think of (talk of hitting ur foot wid a axe.....behold.....i love 2 do that)
F : u r saying that in 4 years of BE (IT) ,u never coded......what was ur BE Project
Me : i was in charge of data assimilation,binding,running around here and there, not coding (thought this wud b d best way of conveying that
my BTP wasnt exactly a Genuine piece of art/code)

M takes over : so u saying that u never coded in your 4 years
Me : (bhai sach to yehi hai.....) i did but not after 2nd year so not in touch wid C/C ++

M : how did u end up at Amdocs if u cant code
Me : destiny has surprises for every1....btw i do code at Amdocs, i code in Powerbuilder

M :that's not even a language
Me: ohh...but at Amdocs,my mentor told me it was a language....i can write a piece of code for u in Powrbuilder
M: no no, spare m time....... r u gud in Maths
Me : (sheepishly....) sort of
M : draw graph of e^(-x)
Me : here it is(this was d only correct answer i gv in whole PI)
M : (aahh, he is gud at something atleast....) Now do this probability question
Me : (tried for 2 mins ,was going nowhere.....blurted out in HINDI...a cardinal sin,sud never do that)
arre sir, yeh to 1 se zyada aa gayi (.....his stare cud hv stopped my heart beat)
M : so u r not gud at Maths even (.....yup,boss.....i aint no gud in nything)

F who was enjoying the fun from sidelines decide to jump into the thick of action and gazes over that list of 12 subjects written down by M
(here starts that part of PI which i will remember my whole life)

F : so as i can see, u read databases in BE
Me : ya i did
F : did u read DBMS or RDMBS
(for the uninitiated, RDBMS is Relational Databases Mgmt system and RDMBS is subset of DMBS,Database Mgmt systems)
Me :....err.....err.......i guess i read RDBMS
F : how can u say that
Me : coz i read Korth ...the title of the book was RDBMS (what an incredibly foolish way to answer this question)
F : what crap....Korth is titled "DBMS", not RDBMS
Me : then i wud hv read DBMS madam (height of stupidity !!! )
F : but ur marksheet says u read RDBMS
Me : i m very sorry for the goof up....if marksheet says so, i must hv read RDBMS
(laughter all around.....i was laughing so as to make one last attempt to somehow change the flow of PI and they were laughing coz they knew
i had definitely convinced them i was a fake engineer)

M : i can see u read Financial Management in 7 sem,can remember nything in that apart from the book and author's name
Me : (gosh... i giv up boss) nopes, i just remember that i read PERT
M : what is PERT
Me :nopes...cant remember.....
M : u cant remember what u read in 7th sem
Me: yup,thats me....(so why do u think i call myself a fake engg huh ???)

M and F : best of luck
Me : ya sure (after the kind of PI, even Almighty cant get me into IIT K)

my own rating in PI : -2/10 (so i hd accomplished the rare feat of scoring in d negative direction... )


grinning from ear to ear as to how i managed to make me look as an idiot from outer space in the PI,i left IIT K campus never ever expecting a convert


Result(Apr 7) : IIT Kanpur converted (in top 60 out of approx 500 ppl called)_....still dont get it how i made it through



ppl reading this post for preparing for PI next year, plz go over all ur BE subjects.....atleast the names and very basics.......i m clueless as to how i made it after an experience as above


PS : everything written above is true.....its not a belated fool day prank

Out of the blue comes DELHI

Now this is something that hasnt sunk in. Its midnight and i was surfing to see the last of my results for MBA entrance exam of FMS. And as soon as i clicked on submit button for results, there was a message saying "Congratulations u have been selected for GD/PI process".

NOW WHAT WAS THAT. Honestly speaking, i was half asleep at that time and this message has shaken me like anything. So i couldnt hide my excitement and am writing this on blog. Even though its a great thing but still the tougher journey is yet to come. I dont know what will be the outcome but it really sounds great when u r atleast called. :-)

Dont know wat else to say. I m happy. SO AB DILLI DOOR NAHI. :-)

ENGLISH and the MESS

ENGLISH. the first thoughts that comes to one's mind hearing this word is IMPRESSION. If u want to impress someone, speak few sentences in english and u will be immediately considered as a person having an intellectual mind even though u may not possess it. :-) English is a blessing left to us but at the same time it has become burden on us too. The reason: Well after all we all have to bear each other's english skills.

We Indians have influenced english in a very big manner which can be evident from the fact that our english is specifically being called as "THE INDIAN ENGLISH". We all are experts in translating watever we think in our vernacular language to english, word by word. Yours truly is one of the biggest followers of such kind of methodology. I had literally translated hindi idioms to english without even thinking wat drastic changes they can cause to the meaning of whole sentence. I realized my folly when once my english sir told me about his suspicion about this. I was amazed at his skill of knowing that but now after getting basic knowledge(hopefully :-) ), i know its not tough to detect.

Other problem that i,like all others,faced was that while speaking in english all of sudden i would be at loss of words. The whole world would seem blank and i, lost completely, not knowing wat to say.Thankfully, due to novels and movies, i somehow reached a normal level of knowing english and felt that from now onwards i wont be commiting the mistakes like others. Afterall i had switched to the other elite category. But i forgot that i m nothing but a mortal. The truth descended on me right at the time of my interview going on for placement. I blabbered and realized immediately "boss kya paaya itna sab kar ke bhi". In the end no use yaar.:-)

Coming to the impression part, speaking in english is considered as a style statement. But these people forget how much they torment others through their colorful language. During my college festival i got a glimpse of that. We were havin cultural festival and the host was singing praises of our college(normal stuff). He said " I am proud to be a student of L D Engineering college". The hostess, eager to join in, immediately added " I too L D" Now for some moments we could not understand what deep message was she trying to propagate but realized afterwards that she wanted to say that she too, being a student of L D, is proud of it. :-D

Sometimes those who preach themselves r trying their best to kill the language. We had an english teacher in 11th std who put a great impression on us by teaching the tenses on the very first day. But slowly all our hopes crashed down when the guy started speaking in english which can even make a junior kg kid speaking in english look much better. He believed all the stories as well as poems in the course were about death. Even if contents are shouting out aloud that "duffer i m about LIFE and u dont need deep meaning to analyze me", he still knew that they were about "DEATH". And the accent. The less one speaks, the better it is. And yeah regarding tenses, He had crammed it up all from WREN AND MARTIN word by word. His examples for tenses were always the same and never changed.

Now in the end, i feel why the hell am i write blogs in english when i always champion the cause of sticking to using ur mother tongue. The plain,simple reason is that we all r put in a habit of writing in english. After all, except that one language subject, all other required writing in english.so ur comfort level is in writing in english but u love speaking in ur mother tongue. Isnt that really messed up??? Keep thinking and enjoy the spirit of using the language. Till then i leave u with some gems that i have heard during this journey of exploring english.

"I coming. U going????"(now wat was that)

One person on a phone: "This is Atul here. Who is there?"(good rhyming)

"The sir will be coming and he will taught u the theory"(We believe in living simultaneously with past and future)

computer sir in class to students: "U must have been told by ur mothers and fathers that...."(No comments on that)

Told u so.

the oscar nominations are out and i just cant stop smiling. Now i think watever i had written abt rahman in my previous post is proved after this news. Remove the word BIASED that i had mentioned about in that blog(about my views) and still each and every word would be true. Just waiting for 22nd feb and let all hell break loose.:) So told u na. even the world is agreeing. ha ha ha. Till then one can enjoy songs of slumdog and delhi-6.

My letter to Indian Cricket Team

Now the situation has changed drastically. But still i m daring to put this letter here. The time was of 2007 when our team had lost very badly in world cup. I used to go at AMA for a course where we were given the topic on Indian cricket. So i had put all my anger by jotting down this letter but in a humorous way. I really enjoyed writing the letter. Hope u all would like it.

To,
The Great Indian Cricket Team,

Whats up? First of all i would like to congratulate you people for losing in WI. You people have done wonders there. To get thrown out of world cup within a week of commencement is not a small thing. And that too for a team like India!!!! Its one of your biggest achievements my tigers. We,Indians,never even dreamt that you people will create a record in such area too. Really speaking, after losing the bangladesh match, there was a hope that u people are going to do something unimaginable. And u did it. Indeed u r BLESSED.

Now lets forget about sports. Tell me where did u people travelled these ten days in West Indies(WI). You have to take care that due to cricket ur travelling plans shouldnt be affected. You r baazigars for us as by losing, u won ur opponents hearts. And we all know "haar ke jeetne wale ko baajigar kehte hain". Well said shah rukh.

As this assignment is complete, dont waste your time and start shooting immediately for your ads. Do take care that rest of the time is spent for creative work like rampwalk in fashion shows etc. U people are multitalented. Make use of that talent. And u hav one more talent of moving between places secretly. U people went with such celebration and grand publicity, but came back so suddenly that we even dont know when did u all came back.

Dont be afraid of the public. Make sure that the scapegoat has been decided and put the blame. It is good to see the way chappel and seniors are passing the buck on each other. Great yaar. Only thing that seems strange in this episode is that why kapil dev,who has nothing to do with your performance, is asking for apology on ur behalf. At the same time i want to congratulate BCCI too for taking the right stand by refusing to take any responsibility for ur defeat.

The only thing that i m sad about is that from now onwords our beloved Greg chappel wont coach you again. His resignation has come as a shock to me. Oh our luck!!!! After his departure, the Indian cricket would be so lonely. Without him, who would fight with the cricketers? Who would insult the media persons? Still i would say he tried his best. In a way he has completed his mission. At this fortunate moment i would like to congratulate him too for ruining career of players like Pathan, Harbhajan. We have lost our favourite villain after his resignation. And the thing that we will miss the most will be ur gestures(specially ur middle finger shown in kolkata).

Look, now that you people have been losing for years, do also win sometimes yaar. I want you to play against bermuda only for next two years. Chances of winning are high. But thats only for two years. I hope that we will reach the second round in next to next to ---- world cup.

Your obedient Indian supporter.

P.s. Please forward this letter to mr.chappel. Give the letter to his partner cum secretary Mr.Kiran More and he will make sure it reaches him.